Resources Here are some samples of the worksheets and guides on the CD-ROM. Being Assertive (Think about) Being assertive means saying what you think, or feel, or need to someone in a way that treats the other person with respect. Assertive behaviour helps us reach agreements with other people without infringing their rights. In order to do this you need to be clear about your needs and wants and to know what you want to happen. Your Rights To be yourself To have your say To make mistakes To be safe To be respected To make decisions To say no To be treated as an equal To make choices To change your mind Being assertive is a skill that needs practising as we tend to use our feelings to guide us rather than use thought and logic. When our emotions spill over we either shut up (passive), or shout (aggressive), both these actions will cause the other person to react badly so no-one gets what they want and things get worse. Assertiveness helps us in difficult situations like disagreements with family members or neighbours, complaining in a shop or taking part in an interview. Sometimes you will get exactly what you want, sometimes not, mostly you should be able to reach a compromise and start making things better. Being assertive will help improve your self confidence and help you form equal relationships with people. To use assertiveness effectively you need to • feel good about yourself • know yourself • have respect for others • be clear about what you want (To practise) How to be assertive • use a calm, friendly tone of voice to say what you need or think • listen to what the other person has to say • say what you want to happen • listen to what the other person has to say • agree on a joint solution How assertive are you? Mark each sentence on a scale of one to five to show how they apply to you. One means no never, five means all the time I get embarrased when people say nice things to me I don’t like telling people they are wrong I think other people take advantage of me I am afraid to argue with people I don’t speak up for myself I feel people don’t listen to me 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Scores 20 or more means you are too passive and could learn to be more assertive. If you get 7 or less you are probably too aggressive. Both results mean you need to be more assertive.